“It’s hard being a good mother to kids you regret having.”
This statement is bound to horrify parents revelling in the joy and wonder children can bring. But to this mother of four, kids have brought nothing but unhappiness and resentment.
She never intended on becoming a mother, says the woman, talking anonymously to Reddit . Her children were all planned but it was her husband who wanted them and encouraged her to have another one, then another one, then another one.
“If he’d have let me I would’ve stopped after our oldest,” she says. “I never really wanted to be a mom, and don’t feel as though I connect with them very well.”
The 24-year-old mom had a traumatic experience when giving birth to her eldest, now five, and suffered postnatal depression. Bonding with the little girl has always been a struggle, she admits, and there’s little connection between them.
Things took an ugly turn when the little girl asked her mom how many children she’d wanted when she was her age. She didn’t want any, the mom replied – and added she hadn’t wanted any when she gave birth to her either. Not surprisingly, this upset the child.
“In the morning she must’ve told her father what had happened when he was making her breakfast as I woke up to my husband absolutely furious with me for traumatising our daughter and damaging her self esteem,” she wrote.
“I told him she’d be fine but he kept shouting at me telling me I was an awful mother. I replied that it’s hard being a good mother to kids you regret having. He asked if I was being serious and I said that I was being impulsive when I said that but that I didn’t want them and he knew that. He left the room absolutely furious with me and took the kids to his parents house.”
The mother was trolled online for being a bad mother.
However her husband and kids are now back in their home and her eldest is fine, she says, after she assured her she loves her.
“She’s now happy in her room playing with her Barbies.”
The young mom is getting professional help to deal with her lingering post-partum depression.
“I love my kids,” she says. “I don’t want to hurt them anymore.”
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