"You are still young, you can have more children."
Many grieving parents have to deal with the insensitive, if well-meaning, comments from other people.
So, as the old adage goes – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Here is a list of five things that should never be said to a grieving parent.
1. You are still young, you can have more children
Children cannot be replaced. Saying this implies their child can just be replaced with another
2. Let go and move on
Anything that implies that a parent should "get over it" is a no-no. There is no letting go of a loss like this.
3. Everything happens for a reason
When one is grieving, nothing seems to have rhyme or reason. It may come across as insensitive, even though you mean well
4. At least...
'At least you have a child left'… 'At least you can have more children'… It may seem to the grieving parent as if you’re dismissing the child they lost. There is no bright side to the death of a child.
5. At least he/she wasn’t older – it would have been so much harder
This is particularly insensitive. Whether the child was 21 years old or one day old, the loss is no smaller or greater. This was still a child the parents had hope and dreams for. Age does not matter.
*All these things are detailed in various blogs from testimonies of parents who have lost a child or children.