Dear HIV: an open letter to my disease

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PHOTO: Gallo Images/Getty Images
PHOTO: Gallo Images/Getty Images

Saidy Brown is a 22-year-old from the North West. She has dubbed herself a HIVictor and is “unapologetically loud and in your face” about being HIV positive.

She found out when she was just 14 years old that she was HIV positive. At the time she didn’t think she would live to see her 18th birthday.

She says her goal is to change the narrative of a person living with HIV.

She wrote this open letter to HIV: 

When my parents passed, I was too young to understand things.

Now I’m all grown and have recently learnt that you're the reason I now feel robbed.

Because of you I am an orphan.

Because of you I am lonely.

Because of you I am all alone.

Because of you I am suffering.

I’m experiencing so many emotions, all at once.

All that is happening is just too much.

I don’t know if to my life you're a curse or a punishment.

I tried so much to live by the book, tried so much to behave.

Yet you still managed to get me.

Actually, my attempts at escaping you were in vain as I have always had you.

I hate you for taking my happiness away.

Because of you, there go my happy days.

Because of you there go my relationship with God.

Because of you life has spiralled out of control

Because of you I feel less pretty.

My confidence is tainted because of you.

I’m yet to face the hate and stigma.

It takes only a random person to post 'HIV negative' on Facebook

Because of you I will never have that liberty.

I am fully aware that I have no right questioning God's will but He took the only two people I could question about all of this.

Although it’s painful knowing that I’m the only one in the family who could not avoid you.

My mind is at ease, knowing that my big bro and sis are safe.

Its better knowing that you got one, then all.

I am still very much alive.

Most babies born with this die early.

That goes to show that I was brought to this earth for a purpose.

And not even two lines on an HIV tester will bring me down.

I am grateful for the life I still have.

God... YOU know this. 

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