Relationship advice from Love Me or Leave Me’s Nozibusiso Nyawose

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Image: Supplied
Image: Supplied

Clinical psychologist Nosibusiso Nyawose has become a viewer favourite as the go-to fundi about all things related to wellbeing.

The TV host and health professional has enjoyed much popularity since taking on the role of “in-house therapist” on many popular South African television shows. Her newest offering, Love Me or Leave Me, is the latest show to hit screens on DStv’s HONEY channel (173). The show features four couples whose relationships have broken down for various reasons. In addition to hosting the show, Nyawose steps in as a guide in the “bootcamp”-style relationship-fixing approach. Each episode sees the couples actively tackle their unique problems. We sat down with Nyawose to pick her brain about quick fixes for troubled relationships.

  1. What's the most common problem that you come across when counselling couples? 

Definitely a lack of communication, being unheard in a relationship by your partner, and of course infidelity.

  1. A lot of what you deal with on Love Me or Leave Me has to do with trust. What do you think is the best way to maintain trust in a relationship? 

Three things:

-          Learning to be honest with your partner and yourself is crucial.

-          Have empathy. It allows you to put yourself in the shoes of your partner to try to understand how they feel when trust is broken.

-          Be open and honest with your partner to maintain trust. Even when trust is broken, it is possible to learn to trust someone again.

  1. How do people in relationships preserve their individual identity while trying to make a relationship work? 

Preserving individual identity means having different hobbies, being able to individuate outside of the relationship and making plans outside of the relationship routine, having different friends, taking trips with different people and forming your own sense of identity. The most important aspect is being able to separate yourself from your partner socially and not run the risk of being enmeshed. Enmeshed couples are not able to carry out day to day activities and routines without their partners. This cause attachment conflict.

  1. What's the most common question you get asked by couples you work with? 

The most common question is: Should I stay or should I go? This question is not for me to answer. But we explore the reasons behind the questions and thoroughly dissect the consequences of staying or leaving. Once this is done, the client must then make an insightful decision.

  1. How has the response been since Love Me or Leave Me aired?

I am now consulting more couples than individuals. For statistical purposes I always ask couples how they found me. The response since the show has always been, “I saw you on Love Me or Leave Me.”

Catch Love Me or Leave Me on DStv 173 every Friday on DStv 173 at 10 PM. #lovemeorleaveme #HoneyDStv173
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